{Tracie’s Story} No “Steps” in this House

During the month of October, The Real Wife Movement™ will be featuring stories from wives who have blended families. They will share what they did to ensure their families thrived beyond 10 years.

Be inspired by Tracie’s Story.

Donnell and I met in 2005 and we married in 2006. (Yes we dated only a year before we got married.) When I met my husband, he was a single father of two young children and I was a single mother of one son.

When people find out we are a blended family, they wanted to know how we made it work. They asked questions such as: Did you let him discipline your child and vice versa?

I want to share our story to encourage you:

Donnell, Tracie, Antonio, Bria and Tyson

When Donnell asked me to marry him, one of the things we did was what we called a pre-family meeting with our children. We wanted to create an avenue where they could be open and honest with us from the beginning.

Now don’t get me wrong, we had our challenges with all three of our children, however we let them know up front that they would be treated the same, to include discipline. We agreed they were all our children.  We let them know when someone asked us how many children we had, we would proudly say we have 3 children; (2) Boys and (1) Girl.

My husband and I both came from blended families and it was obvious who the step-kids were and who the biological kids were: we were made to feel that way.

Because of this, we agreed to allow our children to make the decision about how they wanted to address us. We never pressured them to call us mom or dad and we made it very clear they had already had a tracie-and-hubbymom and dad. Our role would be that of an assistant, alongside  their parents. We never liked the words “step kids” or “step parents”. To us, it indicated they were the outsider and no one wants to feel like an outsider, right?

Donnell and I decided that even though we were blending our family, we would be a family with “No Steps.”

Tracie Douglas is a personal stylist, blogger, wife and a mom of three. She enjoys encouraging people and teaching the next generation of teen girls. Instagram @tracienichole_ FB: tracienichol Blog:
Tracie Douglas is a personal stylist, blogger, wife and a mom of three. She enjoys encouraging people and teaching the next generation of teen girls.
Instagram @tracienichole_ FB: tracienichol

32 thoughts on “{Tracie’s Story} No “Steps” in this House”

  1. I think it’s fantastic the way they handled their blended family and l love the concept of no “step” allowed in the house. It makes a unit which is very cool :-).

  2. Wonderful story Tracie! I love that you guys sat down and had a family meeting to include the children and work out the details. Bless you and your family!

  3. The pre-marriage meeting was a great idea. Blending families can be tough, but it’s beautiful when parents agree to nurture each child the same.

  4. I imagine that being in a blended family requires a lot of love, commitment and heart. I applaud all who can make it work. Thank you for another great post and perspective.

  5. Good for them! I think it’s so important for kids to be accepted by both parents in a blended family.

  6. This is such a great story, I like their open and honest approach with the children.

  7. That’s an awesome idea. A very good way to may everyone feel included.

  8. Important topic to talk about as, majority of people are involved in a blended family,, I don’t like the word step children either. Sounds like they were open with there children creating a great family unit.

  9. I really enjoyed reading this and the approach that was taken. A lot of times children are excluded or even the parents blending the families do not discuss what to do and how to go about it, just jump right in and see what happens, and that is where confusion and problems set in.

  10. I think for me as a step-parent without children of my own, my approach is different. Even though I treated my daughter like she was my own, I never wanted her or her mother to think I was competing with who her mom was and should be to her. But I love when blended families really make the effort to make all their children equal, and love the ‘no step’ mentality.

    1. I love that you assured her that you were not taking her mom’s place. I think of it like this, I call my friends mothers Mom but I know my mom is my mom.

  11. My mother always says that anything with steps, break down. I couldn’t agree with this more!


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