By now, you may know I live life to the fullest. Yet, I had to find a way to compromise like a negotiator to ensure Don felt included. Only recently, did he join my world. Prior to that, he thought I was crazy for having a packed schedule.
This weekend was yet another one filled with events ,so I asked Don to help a sister out.
I want to share with you how to compromise with your husband to get things done so everyone benefits.
I needed jewelry for my event Saturday but I didn’t have time to pick it up. (My friend Keshua of KK Jewels makes jewelry for my events.) I told him I would “hook him up” later if he ran this errand for me. This made him extremely happy and he eagerly obliged! Hey, it worked for me too! Give and you shall receive, you know what I’m saying.
Doni was an assistant to a full figured model. Don was initially
going to take her so I could go to a house warming. I also knew he REALLY wanted to catch the Cowboys game. I told him I would take her to the shoot so he could catch some of the game and then we could make the house warming a date. He agreed and decided to record the game so he could catch all of it later. (This is HUGE LADIES. He chose me over the COWBOYS!!!)
After the housewarming, we headed to the Indie 500 Fashion Show. Since, I am not great at taking pictures with my phone, Iasked Don to help me out. He loves to take pictures, so he was excited about it. Plus, having press passes, placed us in VIP and we had access to the designers and the models.
I found that when Don feels like he is taking an active role in what I have going on, he is more inclined to participate. Find what your honey likes and incorporate that into your negotiations. Marriage must consist of constant compromise for it to work. I am happy we finally figured this out and it makes life easier. When I benefit, he benefits and we get to spend more time together.
What do you do to compromise in your relationship?
Love pays dividends big time when you are a giver. This weekend was uber busy for me! I took a 2 day road trip round trip that was exhausting but rewarding.
When I got home, hubby was handling Sunday dinner and getting our teens ready for school the next day. While I was in the shower, he ran out to get me these vibrant orange roses. He said he got them “JUST BECAUSE”. He said that I am always giving to others and he wanted to just give me something he knew I love: flowers.
Tuesday, he was stuck in traffic for over an hour and only drove about 15 miles from home. He turned around, went home and decided to take the day off. He called me a few minutes before my lunch break to say he was coming by with lunch-for me. You know the best thing about this, he got my order right without asking what I wanted. LOL!!
To top it all off, he calls me and asks me to come straight home without making any stops. This dude grabs my keys when I walk in the door and heads to get new tires put on my car. I’ve been needing tires for a few months but our schedule never permitted for me to have them replaced.
You may be wondering why I titled this post, Love Pays Dividends. Well, I used to be an extremely selfish wife who complained unmercifully. Once I changed my ways, made deposits of love and respected my husband, he began to reciprocate. So, love does indeed pay dividends and I’m thankful we are both getting a return on our investments.
How do you and your husband make deposits of love into each other?
This was my 1st road trip alone, since my book launched on June 4, 2016. On my 4hr drive back, I thought about the weekend and learned these 3 life lessons.
Your greatest blessings, most times, come in small packages. Initially, I didn’t want to go to this event because it was a small venue and I had no idea how many people were coming. The blessing: I had an opportunity to learn from women in their 80s and 90s. Mrs. Bragg said, “I’m not looking for a man my age. All they want is a nurse and my purse. They not getting my purse and I didn’t train to be no nurse.” #wisdom
The amount of a gift is not as important as the heart behind the gift. Due to the generous support of these ladies, I was able to bless a young lady with a $100 donation for college. Initially, I felt like a failure for not raising more money but I realized that my donation was BIG in God’s eyes.
It’s important to enjoy the journey. My family always drives through the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel without stopping at the bridge. Well, since I was by myself, I decided to stop. I was able to stand where the Atlantic Ocean dumps into the Chesapeake Bay. It was a relaxing experience and I did not have to rush. At my parent’s house, my daddy fed me well and sent me hone with goodies for my family.
I enjoyed being able to learn from from these hilarious seasoned ladies and spending time with my parents. It was a great trip and I am looking forward to many more.
Have you ever learned a life lesson on a trip you took by yourself?
***THEY ARE RELOCATING! FOLLOW THEM ON FACEBOOK.***
The atmosphere was relaxing and quaint. The food was good and the menu was impressive.
I was pleased to have an opportunity to speak with older patrons about Washington, DC in their day prior to the event beginning. Everyone was friendly and the staff was extremely welcoming. Jesse, the owner, was awesome and he thanked me for coming. I loved chatting with him throughout the night.
The event started off with Tiah introducing me and then I explained the reason why I wrote my book. The conversation took on a life of its own as men and women weighed in on the subject of being a wife. Before I knew it, 2 hours flew by with people still talking about love, relationships, sex, kids and divorce.
Since I had an hour drive to get home, I wrapped up my portion of the discussion to begin the book signing. One gentleman loved my message so much, he bought 5 copies of the book to give away. Another guy bought 3. I believe the men enjoyed the conversation more than the women and I was glad they were able to hear the heart of a woman from a woman.
I have to say, I truly enjoyed this Real Wife Conversation and hope to incorporate more of them where men are involved and can not only be heard but also to hear relationships, from a woman’s point of view.
Do you think men should be included in conversations pertaining the roles of women in relationships?
Marriage needs intimacy! Think of it as watering a cherry garden. If you don’t water your garden, the cheeries become dry and shrivel up. Intimacy is the same.
When it’s robust and frequent, you feel closer to your husband. When it’s not, you feel stressed out and irritated. I understand, this may not apply to everyone but for most of the married women I’ve spoken to, this is their story.
Below are some tips for putting a cherry on top of your intimacy.
Be Spontaneous – Men love to get it on any time and any where. Be open to this. If you have little ones, ask him to help you distract them and then go for it. This keeps it fun!
Initiate – My husband loves when he receives a text in the middle of the day from me telling him I need a “tune-up” when he gets home. I have teenagers, so I have to get creative. I’ll have them do something outside the house like having my son cut the grass and asking my daughter to walk the dog. When my honey gets home, his mind is zeroed in on me, not his work day . Of course, I benefit for relaxing him after his hour commute.
Change Location – Try the closet, tub or basement. This keeps it spicy and different. Men like to be excited! They are visual, so moving it from the bedroom is a real turn-on.
Take a Bath Together – This may take some planning. I light candles, run a bubble bath and turn on the Jocedi Pandora station. Most of the time we just lay there and talk. We lock the bathroom door and if our kids knock on it, hubby yells that I’m in the bath and he’s talking to me. We get several “Ewwwwwww, that’s gross” but they leave and don’t come back. After the bath, head to the bed.
Girlfriend, I hope these ideas help you put the cherry on top of your intimacy and bring you closer to your husband.
What are some ways you add more to increase your intimacy?
Want ways to spice up your marriage, pick up a copy of my book, Being a Wife Just Got Real by clicking here.
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