Category Archives: Embracing Love

Embracing Change, Embracing Life, Embracing Love, Embracing Marriage, Embracing Parenting

{Tracie’s Story} No “Steps” in this House

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During the month of October, The Real Wife Movement™ will be featuring stories from wives who have blended families. They will share what they did to ensure their families thrived beyond 10 years.

Be inspired by Tracie’s Story.

Donnell and I met in 2005 and we married in 2006. (Yes we dated only a year before we got married.) When I met my husband, he was a single father of two young children and I was a single mother of one son.

When people find out we are a blended family, they wanted to know how we made it work. They asked questions such as: Did you let him discipline your child and vice versa?

I want to share our story to encourage you:

tracie-d-family
Donnell, Tracie, Antonio, Bria and Tyson

When Donnell asked me to marry him, one of the things we did was what we called a pre-family meeting with our children. We wanted to create an avenue where they could be open and honest with us from the beginning.

Now don’t get me wrong, we had our challenges with all three of our children, however we let them know up front that they would be treated the same, to include discipline. We agreed they were all our children.  We let them know when someone asked us how many children we had, we would proudly say we have 3 children; (2) Boys and (1) Girl.

My husband and I both came from blended families and it was obvious who the step-kids were and who the biological kids were: we were made to feel that way.

Because of this, we agreed to allow our children to make the decision about how they wanted to address us. We never pressured them to call us mom or dad and we made it very clear they had already had a tracie-and-hubbymom and dad. Our role would be that of an assistant, alongside  their parents. We never liked the words “step kids” or “step parents”. To us, it indicated they were the outsider and no one wants to feel like an outsider, right?

Donnell and I decided that even though we were blending our family, we would be a family with “No Steps.”

Tracie Douglas is a personal stylist, blogger, wife and a mom of three. She enjoys encouraging people and teaching the next generation of teen girls. Instagram @tracienichole_ FB: tracienichol Blog: tracieslookbook.com
Tracie Douglas is a personal stylist, blogger, wife and a mom of three. She enjoys encouraging people and teaching the next generation of teen girls.
Instagram @tracienichole_ FB: tracienichol
Blog: tracieslookbook.com
Embracing Change, Embracing Love, Embracing Marriage

Want to Compromise Like a Negotiator?

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By now, you may know I live life to the fullest. Yet, I had to find a way to compromise like a negotiator to ensure Don felt included. Only recently, did he join my world. Prior to that, he thought I was crazy for having a packed schedule.

Family Time Expo
Family Time Expo

This weekend was yet another one filled with events ,so I asked Don to help a sister out.

img_2558
Keshua made this purple set in 2hrs at 8pm and delivered it early the next morning.

I want to share with you how to compromise with your husband to get things done so everyone benefits.

  1. I needed jewelry for my event Saturday but I didn’t have time to pick it up. (My friend Keshua of KK Jewels makes jewelry for my events.) I told him I would “hook him up” later if he ran this errand for me. This made him extremely happy and he eagerly obliged! Hey, it worked for me too! Give and you shall receive, you know what I’m saying.
  2. Doni was an assistant to a full figured model. Don was initially
    Doni and Full Figure model, Erica
    Doni and Full Figure model, Erica

    going to take her so I could go to a house warming. I also knew he REALLY wanted to catch the Cowboys game.  I told him I would take her to the shoot so he could catch some of the game and then we could make the house warming a date. He agreed and  decided to record the game so he could catch all of it later. (This is HUGE LADIES. He chose me over the COWBOYS!!!)

  3. After the housewarming, we headed to the Indie 500 Fashion Show. Since, I am not great at taking pictures with my phone, Iasked Don to help me out. He loves to take pictures, so he was excited about it. Plus, having press passes, placed us in VIP and we had access to the designers and the models.

I found that when Don feels like he is taking an active role in what I have going on, he is more inclined to participate. Find what your honey likes and incorporate that into your negotiations. Marriage must consist of constant compromise for it to work. I am happy we finally figured this out and it makes life easier. When I benefit, he benefits and we get to spend more time together.

What do you do to compromise in  your relationship?

Want ways to improve your marriage? Pick up a copy of my book, Being a Wife Just Got Real by clicking book.
Want ways to improve your marriage? Pick up a copy of my book, Being a Wife Just Got Real by clicking book.
Embracing Love, Embracing Marriage

The Multifaceted Wife

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What the heck is ta multifaceted wife? Am I her? Is this a good or bad thing? These were questions I had when I was asked to minister this message.

Since I had no clue what Multifaceted truly meant (I only heard it a 20 thousand times in my adult life), I decided to it look up. Trust, I am not that super smart. I chose to begin with the root word: FACET.

The 1st Webster definition of facet is: a small, flat surface on a jewel. That’s just one side.

WOW! I love this definition! So if we are multifaceted, then we make up all the sides of a jewel. This then technically makes us jewels. Right?

Zechariah 9:16 (NLT) On that day the Lord their God will rescue his people, just as a shepherd rescues his sheep. They will sparkle in his land like jewels in a crown.

Girl, did you see that?? Jewels in a crown. That’s in the BIBLE!

Photo credit: © 2016 Hamid Bros.

Jewels are unbreakable and always shining. Beautiful! To be cherished. Priceless! One of a kind. Irreplaceable! Needs insurance and added to your homeowner’s policy. Wow! We are some pretty important ladies.  I know when I got my 15 year anniversary ring with that elusive “big rock”, I just knew I was something special girlfriend.

So, how does this correlate to being a wife. Well, in my book, Being a Wife Just Got Real, I share the many roles we play as wives. Nurse, secretary, travel agent, chef, laundress, mistress, counselor and the l

Queen Esther Photo credit: www.womeninthebible.net © Copyright 2006 Elizabeth Fletcher
Queen Esther w/crown
Photo credit: www.womeninthebible.net
© Copyright 2006
Elizabeth Fletcherell

ist goes on and on. Those descriptions show just how multifaceted we are. I’m sure many of you can testify that you are your husband’s jewel. Priceless in his eyes even if he doesn’t express it (I got, “you know you are so why do I have to say it?”).

So as you go along this day, keep your head up if your marriage is a hot mess right now. There is hope on the other side! Trust me, I was there. When I focused on my multifaceted and often complex role as a wife, my marriage changed. If God did it for me, He will most certainly do it for you sis!

Romans 8:28 Amplified Bible (AMP) And we know [with great confidence] that God [who is deeply concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and purpose.

What roles do you fill for your husband? If not married, how can you prepare to fill the multiple roles of a wife?

Want ways to improve your marriage? Pick up a copy of my book, Being a Wife Just Got Real by clicking book.
Want ways to improve your marriage? Pick up a copy of my book, Being a Wife Just Got Real by clicking book.
Black Love, Embracing Love

Congressional Black Caucus Relationship Panel

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3 months after my book launch and 2 months after a total rebranding, I sat on a panel at the Congressional Black Caucus. The panel consisted of  experts in the field of relationships and marriage.

Say what now? The chick who was pregnant at 19 and looking at the military as her only option? The girl who’s baby daddy had another girl pregnant at the same time? Yeah, that girl.

I had the awesome opportunity to work alongside my husband last week. It was definitely a dream come true for the both of us! Granted it was only for 54 minutes, but they are 54 minutes that I will never forget.

I was invited to participate in the Congressional Black Caucus Relationship Panel. I was in shock when I was initially asked to do it. My hubby, on the other hand, was extremely proud of me. He said the hard work I put into my new book, Being a Wife Just Got Real, Things I Wish I knew Before I Said, “I Do” was paying off. He was adamant that it was the direct result of God’s grace on the book. My hubby assured me that God’s desire to see marriages be healthy and whole who be helped with this book.

We met he other couples on the panel and chatted it up. It felt like we knew each other for years. They were especially friendly and we talked with them for several minutes at the end of our segment.

After the panel was over, I had the opportunity to sell my book in the Author Pavilion. I met several other authors who had intriguing books that I will be adding to my home collection of books to read.

I am eternally thankful for this blessed opportunity and the fact that it opened doors for more speaking engagements.

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Want ways to improve your marriage? Pick up a copy of my book, Being a Wife Just Got Real by clicking book.
Want ways to improve your marriage? Pick up a copy of my book, Being a Wife Just Got Real by clicking book.
Embracing Love, Real Conversations

Real Wife Conversation at the Serendipity Jazz Coffeehouse 

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***THEY ARE RELOCATING! FOLLOW THEM ON FACEBOOK.***


The atmosphere was relaxing and quaint. The food was good and the menu was impressive.

I was pleased to have an opportunity to speak with older patrons about Washington, DC in their day prior to the event beginning. Everyone was friendly and the staff was extremely welcoming. Jesse, the owner, was awesome and he thanked me for coming. I loved chatting with him throughout the night. 

The event started off with Tiah introducing me and then I explained the reason why I wrote my book. The conversation took on a life of its own as men and women weighed in on the subject of being a wife. Before I knew it, 2 hours flew by with people still talking about love, relationships, sex, kids and divorce. 

 

Since I had an hour drive to get home, I wrapped up my portion of the discussion to begin the book signing. One gentleman loved my message so much, he bought 5 copies of the book to give away. Another guy bought 3. I believe the men enjoyed the conversation more than the women and I was glad they were able to hear the heart of a woman from a woman.

I have to say, I truly enjoyed this Real Wife Conversation and hope to incorporate more of them where men are involved and can not only be heard but also to hear relationships, from a woman’s point of view.

Do you think men should be included in conversations pertaining the roles of women in relationships?