For years, I questioned my parenting skills and I wondered if I would ever be a great mom. After all, I was pregnant with my 1st child, Gabi, at 19-years-old. As a single mom, I went into the military to be able to take care of the both of us.
Seven years later, I was a married and on bed-rest. From there, I was a stay-at-home mom for several years. My kids went from homeschooling to public school and back to private school. I was my kids’ Girl Scout troop leader, cheer coach, soccer/football team mom and the list goes on. I truly believed that if I did all of this, my kids would be awesome and not get into stuff like I did.
Well, when our oldest daughter was a teenager, I found out she was cutting (Google it—this is still very painful for me to talk about.) A year later, she was arrested and sent to jail for theft at her mall job; she was a few months out of high school and a few from shipping out in the Navy.
After this, she decided to live with several boyfriends and their mamas (I promise she was raised in church) as well as with the neighbor across the street (She paid them rent, cooked and cleaned the house, y’all!!!) Then I found out via Facebook that she was married. Talk about a blow to your mothering self-esteem.
Eight years later, I found myself dealing with bad grades, a bad attitude, more cutting and yes, even a fight video (I almost had a nervous break-down from that – BUT GOD!!!) I actually stayed away from social media any time report cards were issued because I felt like an utter and complete failure. I blamed myself for my both of my daughters’ poor choices.
Saturday, my 16-year-old daughter had an opportunity to hang with friends. I knew she was looking forward to hanging out with her friends since this was the first time she has all As and 2 Bs since 5th grade. Instead of going to the movies with them, she searched the mall for a gift for me….
It took everything within me not to have an emotional breakdown when she gave it to me. She hugged me! She thanked me for being a great mom to her. So, I encourage you to trust that God is faithful! I am finally seeing the results of what I put into my kids.
I now know that, “Yes, I am a Great Mom!”
Wow! You had to endure a lot. I’m so glad you were strong. The fact is you can only do your best and leave all else in the hands of a higher being 🙂 . Glad she realized what a great mom you are.
Girl, I was devastated. It was so painful to even share this post but I know some mom needed to read it.
AMAZING testimony! I also had my first daughter young, at 20. And went through lots of struggles too with her especially after moving to another country which allows kids to drink at 16! And we do doubt our parenting skills, been there! Prayer was and still is my biggest strategy with my kids! My daughter turned out incredible and we are very close today! Thanks for sharing and spreading the message! You’re not alone! Please, check out my link about this topic, if you desire 😉 http://www.cactusandcurry.com/our-tribe/5-important-actions-to-take-when-you-are-losing-grip-of-your-child
OMG!!! I love it! I’m glad we connected. Yes, I had to give it to God after trying to manage them by myself. So many times I gave up but He then made me strong. Thanks for sharing.
Parenting is not easy. All you can do is your best. Children respond to unconditional love and that’s what you have shown your two girls. We hear and pay attention to the lessons learned but it is up to us to determine if we will apply them to our lives.
AMEN! I believe that they are maturing into the women God wants them to be.
Awwww, so sweet. I can’t get all emotional this early in the morning. I’m sure my crazy decisions as a child kept my mom in prayer. I’m so thankful she is living to see that trouble doesn’t last always. She can see her struggle wasn’t in vain.
Amen! My mom said the same about me. Having a pregnant daughter was painful for my mom, so I get it. She is so happy I got my mind right.
Wow, you are strong and sound like a great mom. I can appreciate you keeping it real and not glossing over the reality of family, you will go through ups and downs and have to pray that your children will find their way. I need to share this with my sister.
Thank you Nicole!!! I use my blog to tell the truth and to bless others. It was so scary writing it. I pray your sister is blessed by it.
What a testimony! And yes, you are an amazing Mom!!! Often times children go through seasons (I did), but one thing is…you always remained faithful to the gift God gave you. I am a believer that God works EVERYTHING out for good (yes, even the bad). Keep sharing your journey, because I know there are tons of parents out there going through what you are going through.
AMEN! I stood on that scripture so many times. I am now seeing things turn around for the both of them.
Woow you really went through fire and I most say you are very strong even for sharing.
Well done for trusting in your capacity and potential.
http://www.distinguisheddiva.com/2016/10/happy-non-racistnon-offensive-and-non.html
Thanks sis1 I believe in being transparent and helping others with our experiences.
Honey, I got a little emotional on this one. Great post, Tanya! You put so much time and effort into raising them right, but ultimately, they need to figure things out for themselves. I’m so glad you’re seeing the fruits of your labor.
Thank you sis!!! I had rough patches along the way when I wanted to just walk away from all of them, but God kept me in the midst of it all.
He is faithful! Those middle school years are the toughest. Kids go through so much emotionally. Parents aren’t always equipped to manage all that their kids are dealing with. I see it daily, but I’m a praying principal. <3
Amen Michelle! Well add my baby girl to your list. Donielle (Doni)
I definitely will!
This parenting thing is no joke. These kids test our endurance, patience, faith and everything else. I often question my mothering abilities and why god gave me a non biological child. My husband constantly reminds me that I am capable and I am doing my best and that’s all that any of them can ask of me. Thanks for sharing this. Lord knows you’ve been through some stuff too.
Thanks Kenya! I can imagine how tough it is. I think for women it is especially hard because we naturally give and it hurts when you yield something different than what you are giving.
Great story and thanks very much for sharing! Yes you are a great Mom and all of your kids know it and are thankful for YOU!
Thanks sis! Sometimes we need that reassurance.
That was so sweet of her. My daughter is six and my son is one. I knew what a handful I was, but I’m not in any way ready prepared for what they might throw at me. Thankfully, I gave them back to the Lord when they were born so I’m not going to lose any sleep over wondering now.
We did too!! LOL! My daughter’s middle name means God has answered….all things for His good even the crazy stuff. enjoy your sweet babies.
This is such a beautiful story! Thanks for sharing!
God wouldn’t put you through anything that you couldn’t handle. EVERYBODY has their own testimony and those that pretend to have a perfect family are full of it. Thank you for always being so transparent.
I am intrigued by your family story. My mom went through similar stuff (except the cutting) with my older sister. Did your oldest two daughter ever recover and grow from their rebellious youth??? I am just curious how their lives turned out after they went into the initial direction they took?
There is no instruction manual on how to be a good mom or how to deal with rebellious kids. Some kids are just going to do what they want to do, but so happy you had another child that did show you the appreciation the other two didnt. Maybe the other two need therapy for something.