Tag Archives: WIFE

{Naomi’s Story} No, I WANT to Call Him Daddy!

During the month of October, The Real Wife Movement™ will be featuring stories from wives who have blended families. They will share what they did to ensure their families thrived beyond 10 years.

Be inspired by Naomi’s Story.

“I love you, Mr. Sammy.”
Naomi, Sammy and Corlise
Naomi, Sammy and Corlise
Anytime I stop and think about the relationship between my husband and daughter, I always think back to her little 4-year-old voice uttering those words. My husband and I were married in 2005 and my daughter simply adored him!
We had a conversation with my daughter Corlise prior to our wedding, and we explained to her that we were getting married. I mainly focused on telling her that she didn’t have to call him “daddy.” My husband and I were both fine with her referring to him as Mr. Sammy. I remember my daughter saying so clearly and with a big smile on her face, “No, I WANT to call him daddy.” I didn’t know it then, but that was a great lesson for me. 

Her little self knew that if mom and Mr. Sammy were getting married, WE were all going to be one family unit. She never knew

Sammy and Corlise
Sammy and Corlise

about step-parenting until she got older and met other children with step-parents. She came home one day and told me that she and some other children were in conversation about step parents. They wanted to know why my daughter didn’t refer to her dad as a step-dad. She told them, “Because, he’s not.” Her response to those other children made me smile. It caused me to reflect on how my husband has always treated our soon-to-be 17-year-old like a queen and like his own.

He’s loved her, disciplined her, and raised her to love God. My husband has been a great example of God’s unconditional love and acceptance. As believers, we have all been adopted into the Body of Christ and God NEVER treats us like “step” anything! My hope for other blended families is that they keep the concepts of oneness, love, and acceptance at the forefront of their minds.
Our family has been through many ups and downs over the years, but we continue to stand as a family unit, learning how to overcome any obstacles…together.
Naomi Davis is a proud stay-home-mom who loves business and entrepreneurship. Prior to embarking on her
entrepreneurial endeavors, Naomi served in the United States Marine Corps for 10 years. Naomi currently operates a successful home-based child care facility and a home-based travel agency.

 

Visit Naomi at www.starttrippin.com  or at https://www.facebook.com/starttrippintravel.

{Tracie’s Story} No “Steps” in this House

During the month of October, The Real Wife Movement™ will be featuring stories from wives who have blended families. They will share what they did to ensure their families thrived beyond 10 years.

Be inspired by Tracie’s Story.

Donnell and I met in 2005 and we married in 2006. (Yes we dated only a year before we got married.) When I met my husband, he was a single father of two young children and I was a single mother of one son.

When people find out we are a blended family, they wanted to know how we made it work. They asked questions such as: Did you let him discipline your child and vice versa?

I want to share our story to encourage you:

tracie-d-family
Donnell, Tracie, Antonio, Bria and Tyson

When Donnell asked me to marry him, one of the things we did was what we called a pre-family meeting with our children. We wanted to create an avenue where they could be open and honest with us from the beginning.

Now don’t get me wrong, we had our challenges with all three of our children, however we let them know up front that they would be treated the same, to include discipline. We agreed they were all our children.  We let them know when someone asked us how many children we had, we would proudly say we have 3 children; (2) Boys and (1) Girl.

My husband and I both came from blended families and it was obvious who the step-kids were and who the biological kids were: we were made to feel that way.

Because of this, we agreed to allow our children to make the decision about how they wanted to address us. We never pressured them to call us mom or dad and we made it very clear they had already had a tracie-and-hubbymom and dad. Our role would be that of an assistant, alongside  their parents. We never liked the words “step kids” or “step parents”. To us, it indicated they were the outsider and no one wants to feel like an outsider, right?

Donnell and I decided that even though we were blending our family, we would be a family with “No Steps.”

Tracie Douglas is a personal stylist, blogger, wife and a mom of three. She enjoys encouraging people and teaching the next generation of teen girls. Instagram @tracienichole_ FB: tracienichol Blog: tracieslookbook.com
Tracie Douglas is a personal stylist, blogger, wife and a mom of three. She enjoys encouraging people and teaching the next generation of teen girls.
Instagram @tracienichole_ FB: tracienichol
Blog: tracieslookbook.com

Want to Compromise Like a Negotiator?

By now, you may know I live life to the fullest. Yet, I had to find a way to compromise like a negotiator to ensure Don felt included. Only recently, did he join my world. Prior to that, he thought I was crazy for having a packed schedule.

Family Time Expo
Family Time Expo

This weekend was yet another one filled with events ,so I asked Don to help a sister out.

img_2558
Keshua made this purple set in 2hrs at 8pm and delivered it early the next morning.

I want to share with you how to compromise with your husband to get things done so everyone benefits.

  1. I needed jewelry for my event Saturday but I didn’t have time to pick it up. (My friend Keshua of KK Jewels makes jewelry for my events.) I told him I would “hook him up” later if he ran this errand for me. This made him extremely happy and he eagerly obliged! Hey, it worked for me too! Give and you shall receive, you know what I’m saying.
  2. Doni was an assistant to a full figured model. Don was initially
    Doni and Full Figure model, Erica
    Doni and Full Figure model, Erica

    going to take her so I could go to a house warming. I also knew he REALLY wanted to catch the Cowboys game.  I told him I would take her to the shoot so he could catch some of the game and then we could make the house warming a date. He agreed and  decided to record the game so he could catch all of it later. (This is HUGE LADIES. He chose me over the COWBOYS!!!)

  3. After the housewarming, we headed to the Indie 500 Fashion Show. Since, I am not great at taking pictures with my phone, Iasked Don to help me out. He loves to take pictures, so he was excited about it. Plus, having press passes, placed us in VIP and we had access to the designers and the models.

I found that when Don feels like he is taking an active role in what I have going on, he is more inclined to participate. Find what your honey likes and incorporate that into your negotiations. Marriage must consist of constant compromise for it to work. I am happy we finally figured this out and it makes life easier. When I benefit, he benefits and we get to spend more time together.

What do you do to compromise in  your relationship?

Want ways to improve your marriage? Pick up a copy of my book, Being a Wife Just Got Real by clicking book.
Want ways to improve your marriage? Pick up a copy of my book, Being a Wife Just Got Real by clicking book.

Love Pays Dividends

Love pays dividends big time when you are a giver. This weekend was uber busy for me! I took a 2 day road trip round trip that was exhausting but rewarding.

When I got home, hubby was handling Sunday dinner and getting our teens ready for school the next day. While I was in the shower, he ran out to get me these vibrant orange roses. He said he got them “JUST BECAUSE”. He said that I am always giving to others and he wanted to just give me something he knew I love: flowers.

img_2499
Vibrant Thing

Tuesday, he was stuck in traffic for over an hour and only drove about 15 miles from home. He turned around, went home  and decided to take the day off. He called me a few minutes before my lunch break to say he was coming by with lunch-for me. You know the best thing about this, he got my order right without asking what I wanted. LOL!!

img_2509
Lunch date side by side in our cars. #LovemesomeHim

To top it all off, he calls me and asks me to come straight home without making any stops. This dude grabs my keys when I walk in the door and heads to get new tires put on my car. I’ve been needing tires for a few months but our schedule never permitted for me to have them replaced.

New tires baby!!!
New tires baby!!!

You may be wondering why I titled this post, Love Pays Dividends. Well, I used to be an extremely selfish wife who complained unmercifully. Once I changed my ways, made deposits of love and respected my husband, he began to reciprocate. So, love does indeed pay dividends and I’m thankful we are both getting a return on our investments.

How do you and your husband make deposits of love into each other?

Get your autographed copy!
Want ways to improve your marriage? Pick up a copy of my book, Being a Wife Just Got Real by clicking book.

The Multifaceted Wife

What the heck is ta multifaceted wife? Am I her? Is this a good or bad thing? These were questions I had when I was asked to minister this message.

Since I had no clue what Multifaceted truly meant (I only heard it a 20 thousand times in my adult life), I decided to it look up. Trust, I am not that super smart. I chose to begin with the root word: FACET.

The 1st Webster definition of facet is: a small, flat surface on a jewel. That’s just one side.

WOW! I love this definition! So if we are multifaceted, then we make up all the sides of a jewel. This then technically makes us jewels. Right?

Zechariah 9:16 (NLT) On that day the Lord their God will rescue his people, just as a shepherd rescues his sheep. They will sparkle in his land like jewels in a crown.

Girl, did you see that?? Jewels in a crown. That’s in the BIBLE!

Photo credit: © 2016 Hamid Bros.

Jewels are unbreakable and always shining. Beautiful! To be cherished. Priceless! One of a kind. Irreplaceable! Needs insurance and added to your homeowner’s policy. Wow! We are some pretty important ladies.  I know when I got my 15 year anniversary ring with that elusive “big rock”, I just knew I was something special girlfriend.

So, how does this correlate to being a wife. Well, in my book, Being a Wife Just Got Real, I share the many roles we play as wives. Nurse, secretary, travel agent, chef, laundress, mistress, counselor and the l

Queen Esther Photo credit: www.womeninthebible.net © Copyright 2006 Elizabeth Fletcher
Queen Esther w/crown
Photo credit: www.womeninthebible.net
© Copyright 2006
Elizabeth Fletcherell

ist goes on and on. Those descriptions show just how multifaceted we are. I’m sure many of you can testify that you are your husband’s jewel. Priceless in his eyes even if he doesn’t express it (I got, “you know you are so why do I have to say it?”).

So as you go along this day, keep your head up if your marriage is a hot mess right now. There is hope on the other side! Trust me, I was there. When I focused on my multifaceted and often complex role as a wife, my marriage changed. If God did it for me, He will most certainly do it for you sis!

Romans 8:28 Amplified Bible (AMP) And we know [with great confidence] that God [who is deeply concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and purpose.

What roles do you fill for your husband? If not married, how can you prepare to fill the multiple roles of a wife?

Want ways to improve your marriage? Pick up a copy of my book, Being a Wife Just Got Real by clicking book.
Want ways to improve your marriage? Pick up a copy of my book, Being a Wife Just Got Real by clicking book.