What Was I Saying, “I Do” To?

Posted on Posted in Embracing Change, Embracing Life, Embracing Love
Pronounced Man and Wife June 12, 1999

I was in my house the other day prepping for back to school, when I ran across a stack of our wedding day pictures. As I thumbed through each picture, I began to feel sad. I thought to myself, “I truly had no clue what I was saying ‘I do’ to.”

I actually found myself speaking to each picture as if the 1999 me could hear the 2016 me. I became so emotional, that I started to bawl in the middle of my living room floor, cradling my pictures with the love and care of a mother nursing her newborn.

After I got myself together, thoughts flooded my mind about how unprepared we are for marriage. Our vows vaguely came back and these few words I remembered, “for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part”.

WOW! Looking at those words 17 years later, I now see how heavy they are. Those vows carry so much weight but I feel, most people haven’t realized how serious they are nor are we prepared to live them fully and until death.

A Few Wedding Day Pictures

In those 17 years, Don and I experienced them all, except for death, thank God!

We stayed through rich (rich in love, peace, joy) times. We stayed through the numerous unemployed, food stamps, pre-foreclosure poor times. We stayed through (2) premature labors and our son being hospitalized countless times as a baby. We stayed through me kicking diabetes butt and embracing my hair loss together. We stayed through homeschooling, military transfers and sleeping on people’s floors with 3 kids.

As I think back, I realize that I said “I do” to things I had no idea would come our way. I’m thankful I didn’t quit. I’m thankful he didn’t leave.  I’m even more thankful we are in a place where I still say, “I do”.

I share Part I of our journey in my book, Being a Wife Just Got Real, Things I Wish I Knew Before I Said, “I Do”.

What are some things you and your husband had to overcome after saying, “I do”?

27 thoughts on “What Was I Saying, “I Do” To?

  1. WOW! This post was a mouthful Tanya. My husband and I have been together 21 Years but married for 8 years. We began half of our family before marriage and had our 2 daughters inside marriage. We have been through and over come a lot together. But if I had to share one thing we had major issues over coming, it would be depression. Depression took me and my hubby down a terrible path. It is hard to give someone the love and respect they deserve when you do not have ANY love and respect for yourself. Everyone is affected by depression in families, including children. I thank God that season of our lives is over. Living in a state of negative thoughts, negative talk isn’t healthy. Especially when children are involved. I thank God for Jesus and for a praying family.

  2. I’m dating someone now and I think we will end up married. He’s wonderful but we definitely have some issues that we already know we will have to deal with. It’s tough combining 2 lives but we both feel we are on our way to having something great and we are willing to work on the things we need to work on. Loving is easy but making that love strong takes work and we are willing to do it.

  3. Man. We have gone through a ton since we have been married, and even though much of it was hard, I wouldn’t change a thing about it!

  4. I’m dating a guy now and I do see marriage in the future. I also see things we need to work on and we have started the process. We are combining children as well, so that’s another hurdle we are crossing. It’s a learning process. Thanks for sharing.

  5. Glad to see people sticking through their marriage! As we all know America probably has the highest divorce rate. I think people marry and say the vows but they don’t really honor them. The easy part is sticking around when the times are good, the hard part is still around during the difficult times!

  6. I’m not married (yet), but my parents will be married for 41 years next week. Even in my 30 years, I’ve seen them go through so much good, bad and life changing times, but they still hold on to each other. Certain things they do annoy me and I often question how they could deal with that especially for 40+ years, but you know real love when the trying times come. Beautiful pictures and congrats on 17 years.

  7. I am not married yet, but I know when I do I would like to stick to that one person with those vows. Even though I can guess I am going to be wondering what I got myself into lol.

  8. I’m 24 and I’m not sure if there are many people my age who really understand exactly what those wedding vows mean, most of my friends grew up without fathers so they don’t even know what it is to see a successful relationship or what real love is. My parents have been married 22 years and I’ve seen the ups and downs that come with marriage but regardless they still are holding on and I hope that one day I’ll meet a guy who knows that marriage is far from perfect but that we’ll stick together through it all.

  9. Wow! I’m not married yet but I have def thought about this with my boyfriend. marriage is forever which is such a long time!

  10. I so need this! This morning j was thinking God you need to fix my husband because he got issues! But then it was revealed to me that I needed to work on my own issues. We I got married.. Mind you second marriage.. I still didn’t know what it meant to love your husband unconditionally. As a woman I was taught yea love your husband but umm look out for yourself. That mind frame can be dangerous when your truly suppose to become one with your husband.. I’m a work in progress.. And it’s okay because I want to learn to be the wife God has called me to be.

    1. Erica, you got this sis! I tell the ladies I coach to take it one day at a time. God will grace you to endure the journey but you’ve got to be willing to yield your ways to his ways.

Comments are closed.