What? Serve My Husband?

Posted on Posted in Embracing Love
Photo credit Erik Cleves Kristensen

✈️A few weeks I was sitting at the airport waiting on the hubby’s flight to come in. Prior to leaving for his trip, he wanted to drive himself. I offered to drop him off and pick him up, however, he reluctantly took me up on my offer. He cited all the things I would have going on the day he returned and that he didn’t want to be one more thing on my list.

As I sat in the Kiss & Ride parking lot, I reflected on the last 17 years of marriage and what type of wife I had been. That conversation popped back in my head. What made my hubby say that to me? I sat there in my feelings for a while because he had spoken truth. I made serving him my last priority and most times didn’t follow through with my word because of tiredness or an overbooked schedule.

Hubby and I celebrated 17yrs in June

I know some sisters are thinking: “DID I READ THIS RIGHT? SERVE HIM? WHO ME?IS THIS CHICK SUGGESTING I SERVE A GROWN BEHIND MAN?” Yes, ma’am, I said, serve him. Dictionary.com defines serve as – to render assistance; be of use; help. Don’t we do this on a daily basis on the job, in our social groups, at our places of worship and with the kids? Heck, you do this when you hold the door open for someone at the grocery store.

Genesis 2:18 says, “The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” WOW! God made me suitable for my husband. Wait a minute, you mean to tell me, I was made just for that man? Whoa!! I thought of plenty of times I told him I wasn’t his servant, his mother, his maid and the list goes on. Dang Tanya, you need to do better Boo! That was a very sobering moment for me. 

So sitting there in the parking lot I thought, “yeah, I could have been doing other things such as cooking, laundry, etc., but I wanted to now let him know how important he was to me.” When he got in the car, I apologized for making him last more often than I am comfortable to admit, but it’s the truth.

The beauty of this was that he immediately accepted my apology and we moved on. The Word says, “Give and it shall be given unto you” and boy, did that pay off that night. Since the Kiss & Ride come to Jesus moment, I have been serving him more and it truly has strengthened our relationship.

Is serving your husband or do you see serving your future husband as a chore? Let’s talk about it.

26 thoughts on “What? Serve My Husband?

  1. I’m lucky in that l found a nurturer husband. I think truth be told we don’t even think much about who serves who even though l think it’s slightly skewed in my favor :-). It’s also easier for us because we don’t have traditional jobs anymore, so lots of time :-).

  2. That is really cool that you’ve been able to do that. I admit – I am still a work in progress, but I have gotten a whole lot better!

  3. So for the longest time, I concluded that my husbands love language was acts of service. Then one day we had a conversation about our 10 yrs of marriage thus far and to my surprise, he said that I was selfish. I was bothered (in my feelings) and confused, I spend a lot of my time intentionally serving him, only to find out he didn’t even recognize my efforts. I mention my experience because it is important to have open lines of communication about what type of service your spouse appreciates the most. Your spouse may not acknowledge blind acts of service. Thankfully, after our convo, I felt so much better after he told me which acts of service he appreciates the most. So (in my opinion) you have to talk about and not just do it.

  4. I loved this! I am a continual work in progress, but I am so happy with how far I’ve come. When I first got married, I was commuting over an hour to work so literally almost everything and everyone came last. I now work from home and am doing so much better at serving my husband. It can be hard to be selfless at times, but I can see how happy it makes him when he’s put as a priority and served. Plus, when I treat him like a king, he goes overboard in treating me like a queen. It’s not the sole reason I do more serving, but it certainly feels nice!

  5. It isn’t a chore. Both people need to serve and take care of the other. Some people get too comfortable sometimes and expect more than what they bother to give.

  6. My husband has truly taught me this principle just by doing. We have known each other for many years, most of spent as friends and we took care of each other even as friends which made it easier in marriage. Now it feels effortless most times. I am glad you reflected over and it and weren’t to prideful to admit it or fix it.

  7. I agree with Eva and Latoya. I’m def a work in progress as well. I serve my significant other occasionally. I believe we have a give and take.

  8. I don’t think serving ANYONE is a chore. A lot of people talk about submission and service in marriage, but the Word says “..through love serve one another.” There’s a difference is doing something out of love and “because it’s expected” when you do it out of love, it doesn’t seem like a chore.

  9. I definitely don’t have a problem with doing for my husband. I feel people do what works for them. I feel that since I’m home that I am okay with taking care of him and the kids.

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