As a woman, I have learned over the years that people need a lot from us, especially our husbands. In my book, Being a Wife Just Got Real: Things I Wish I Knew Before I Said, I Do, I talk about all the roles we play as a wife.
As I was lying in bed in Jamaica last week, I began to think about how powerful my “P” is to my husband. Before you get all uncomfortable and grossed out and click off my page to stage a boycott for indecency, let me explain: this “P” I’m talking about is my PROMISE.
When I promise I will do something for someone, especially my husband, I must remember the amazing power it has. For years, my husband complained that I would promise to pick up his dry cleaning, have sex, simply print off resumes for a job interview, etc., only to forget, ignore or just not follow through. I am recently realizing that this caused him to feel like I didn’t care about his needs.
So, I promised him that I would do better and be very intentional about my follow through. After all, I love this guy and want him to feel like I do care about his needs. I came up with these four amazing powers of my “P”. I hope they inspire you to use your “P” to its fullest potential.
- My “P” – creates a sense of commitment. For years, my husband felt he didn’t matter to me and that I wasn’t committed to him. I would brush him off and continue to, let’s be honest, disrespect him. Once the light-bulb came on in my thick skull, I began to keep my word to him and now he knows I will keep my promise. If I feel that I can’t do something, I am just honest and tell him upfront that if I can get to it I will, if I can’t, he is disappointed. This has reduced lots of tension and complaints.
- My “P” – creates a sense of value. Now that my husband feels like he matters to me, it added a sense of value to him. Unbeknownst to me, men need to feel valued and wanted. Keeping my promise gave him that sense of value in my eyes and he began to trust me more.
- My “P” – creates trust. Let’s talk about TRUST baby-girl. Oh yeah, well, breaking my promises over and again for years, caused my husband to lose trust in me. Perfect example, I would tell him, “not now honey, later tonight”. Well, when night rolled around, her went straight to sleep because he didn’t trust me to keep my word, because I was guilty for not following through. Let’s just say, we both went to bed and woke up sexually frustrated, which led to arguments and no sex. I know, that’s stupid but that was my reality.
- My “P” – creates closeness. Now that I keep my promise with my husband, follow through on keeping my word and don’t blow my husband off, I can feel how close we have become. This closeness has also led to more sex that is enjoyable for the both of us. So girlfriend, make sure you are intentional about using your “P” by honoring your commitment, which creates a sense of value, that builds trust which, leads to closeness in your relationship. (Whew that was a mouthful! – no pun intended)
Have you ever dropped the ball in using your “P” to its fullest potential with you honey? What can you do or have you done to become better in this area?