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My husband Don and I have been married for 17 years, however, the first 15 were awfully tumultuous. We argued all the time and just could not get along.
I now realize that I went into marriage thinking I would be a glorified girlfriend and that my husband would love me unconditionally until “death did we part.” That lasted all of three weeks. That’s it. The honeymoon and my fairy tale marriage was over with the ring of the telephone.
That one phone call took my marriage on a downward spiral for years. That phone call was answered by my new husband with an old boyfriend on the other side. When my husband asked me about it, I told him we were just friends. He search for anything to prove me a liar. He found my journals from back in the day that proved otherwise. Our three week euphoria was over. Trust was destroyed. We were no longer in love or like, for that matter.
In the midst of trying to hold my new marriage together, I ran to the library, combing the aisles for something, anything to help me.
I did not find any books by African American women. All I found were lots of Urban Fiction books full of infidelity and lots of hot, steamy sex. My mom was a Harlequin Romance bag-lady. She carried those books everywhere she went, so I searched through a few of those too. I could never get past the first chapter without feeling like an utter failure. After all, the main characters didn’t look or live like me and they, with their new found loves, always seemed to ride off into the sunset, living happily ever after.
While living in Germany, I was introduced to Power of the Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian. I devoured this book from cover to cover. I wrote in it A LOT. I read those prayers out loud in all earnest because I knew my life and my marriage depended on it. That book, along with my Bible, were the two books that helped me keep my sanity and helped me stay married. My husband wasn’t abusive; we just had a marriage full of bitterness and a serious lack of trust. We argued about everything and only had sex when I couldn’t take his begging anymore.
Join me Wednesday for Part 2……
BMWK, What books had a profound impact on improving or even restoring your marriage?