Open Apology to My Black Husband

Posted on Posted in Black Love, Embracing Love
Don feelings
Don breaking down talking about being a black father and husband

I want to first start off with an open apology to my beautiful, strong, BLACK MAN! I am publicly apologizing for not respecting you when you deserve my respect and so much, more.

Watching the news over the last 48 hours got me twisted, babe. I am going to say, I am even a bit ashamed of myself. Here I am, all emotional, tore up and angry because a police officer took yet another, black man’s life. They not only had total disregard for our brothers’ lives, but they also had no respect.

Immediately, God arrested me in my moment of disgust. He clearly showed me how I have been no different: I just didn’t use a gun as my weapon of choice.

Here I was indignant that these men were murdered, but I murdered your spirit with my hateful thoughts and words. Here I was pissed off that these men didn’t get a chance to speak for themselves, yet, I’ve walked away form conversations without giving you a chance to speak your mind.

Countless times, I immediately assumed the worse of you and in those moments, disrespected you with my words and actions. Oftentimes, I purposefully shut you down with my sharp tongue. Other times, I called you names, degraded you and even said things I knew would hurt you to your core. I was careless in how I treated you, I punished you with no sex, I embarrassed you in front of friends and family.

No-I didn’t use bullets to hurt and maim you, but my poison was just as damaging and deadly. 

So, TODAY, I pledge to honor and lift you up! I pledge to pray for you! I pledge to listen to your concerns, your hurts, your fears, without trying to FIX YOU! That’s not my job; my job is to love you unconditionally.

I pray that you will forgive me and that we can forge together to raise our BLACK SON to be a loving BLACK HUSBAND just like you. #BLACKLIVESMATTER #BLACKLOVEMATTERS
Photo credit: LadyRedd Creations Photography

0 thoughts on “Open Apology to My Black Husband

      1. I worry about my husband too. When he’s in his uniform he is a marvelous curiosity that is held in high regard… On his turf. When he gets to the hotel he changes into regular, still polished, clothes. He often walks or waits for shuttles in whichever city he is in. My heart, my Soul, stays unrested until he is locked in his room.

  1. This is very touching. We all judge and we’re all unfair. I think you cracked the code here. We must all examine ourselves and do better. Thank you for speaking up and for sharing this!

  2. We all judge and we all act unfairly. I think you cracked the code. Each of us must examine ourselves and your post has inspired me to do so. Thank you for speaking up!

  3. This is when the Sister Circle is used to enclosed our men in our hearts, and arms to let them know, and feel the tremendous love we have for them. My minor son and my husband I’m not afraid to say my heart is not settled during the day when we have to be apart. I am sure many mothers and wives feel the same. I agree with Tanya home is where they should feel love, secure, and be safe. They are my Kings!

  4. Awesome post. I worry about how others might kill my boys and my husband, but it is quite possible that I may be killing them slowly with my own words. Definitely something to think about.

  5. Ouch! Yes, I think there are times when all wives do this. We need to support our husbands more, I know I do!

  6. What a beautiful heartwarming post. I am sure your husband and countless other black men know who has their back in these time. Black women no matter how we fight or get mad at our men, we are by their side in these times. We hold them down when society doesnt and I hope they appreciate us for it – not just in these times.

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