Nor is being a wife glamorous….. Sure, you see the sexy vacation pics and the fun selfies folks post on social media. I know I post my share of them and I love to see those of my friends too. They make my heart melt and strengthen my belief in the power of true love.
But what you don’t see, are the everyday pics. The ones where you are hollering at the kids to hurry up and get in the car because you are running late for work. They definitely don’t see the way you mean-mug your man because he just tapped you on the shoulder in the middle of the night with THE LOOK in his eyes after you ran the kids around all day, helped with the last minute homework assignment, left dishes piled up in the sink and you got a meeting 1st thing in the morning, but you left your work laptop, at work.
You also don’t see are posts of heated moments, silent treatments, with-holding sex and the occasional night on the sofa or in the guest bedroom. No one posts those moments when they are thinking, “Yo, I can really hold this thing down by myself big fella so you can step.” No ma’am, we aren’t posting those pics.
But guess what??? You are not alone…. Poll any wife at the grocery store, hair salon or on the train and you will hear the same words – this wife thing is not cute.
Not even for the Real Wife Coach!!!
The other day, my hubby worked my everlasting, perfectly good nerve. He had me seeing myself walking my bald-headed self right out the front door to board a plane to Bora Bora by – MYSELF.
Seriously though, I had to take a few moments to get my mind right. I knew that if I didn’t, I would have sent him on the next flight to Siberia on United Airlines….don’t judge me. I used to be a chihuahua and used to harass my husband (buy my book to find out about those days).
Let me tell you, sis, I had to dig deep and choose to see the whole man, not just this temporary lapse in communication.
I had to decide if I was going to let this moment get the best of me and cause me to dislike this man. This man who I pledged before my momma and daddy, God and Don’s traveling, singing, evangelist granny, that I would love him all the days of my life.
We ALL have moments where we are frustrated. It’s okay. Take a deep breath and walk away. Agree to pick up the convo later. I would even encourage you to go for a walk, pray, listen to your favorite music with the volume turned all the way up, hit up your local ice cream shop for a sundae with extra chocolate syrup, or even take a candle-lit bubble bath. Trust me, you will feel so much better and you will be able to clear your head.
Once you do this, reminisce about your dating days. Think about your wedding day. Remind yourself of what you love about him, no matter if it is only 1 thing right now. That is a start.
Being a wife ain’t always cute but it is a lifelong partnership that is rewarding. After all, you need him there on those cold winter nights to warm your feet up under.