Nor is being a wife glamorous….. Sure, you see the sexy vacation pics and the fun selfies folks post on social media. I know I post my share of them and I love to see those of my friends too. They make my heart melt and strengthen my belief in the power of true love.
But what you don’t see, are the everyday pics. The ones where you are hollering at the kids to hurry up and get in the car because you are running late for work. They definitely don’t see the way you mean-mug your man because he just tapped you on the shoulder in the middle of the night with THE LOOK in his eyes after you ran the kids around all day, helped with the last minute homework assignment, left dishes piled up in the sink and you got a meeting 1st thing in the morning, but you left your work laptop, at work.
You also don’t see are posts of heated moments, silent treatments, with-holding sex and the occasional night on the sofa or in the guest bedroom. No one posts those moments when they are thinking, “Yo, I can really hold this thing down by myself big fella so you can step.” No ma’am, we aren’t posting those pics.
But guess what??? You are not alone…. Poll any wife at the grocery store, hair salon or on the train and you will hear the same words – this wife thing is not cute.
Not even for the Real Wife Coach!!!
The other day, my hubby worked my everlasting, perfectly good nerve. He had me seeing myself walking my bald-headed self right out the front door to board a plane to Bora Bora by – MYSELF.
Seriously though, I had to take a few moments to get my mind right. I knew that if I didn’t, I would have sent him on the next flight to Siberia on United Airlines….don’t judge me. I used to be a chihuahua and used to harass my husband (buy my book to find out about those days).
Let me tell you, sis, I had to dig deep and choose to see the whole man, not just this temporary lapse in communication.
I had to decide if I was going to let this moment get the best of me and cause me to dislike this man. This man who I pledged before my momma and daddy, God and Don’s traveling, singing, evangelist granny, that I would love him all the days of my life.
We ALL have moments where we are frustrated. It’s okay. Take a deep breath and walk away. Agree to pick up the convo later. I would even encourage you to go for a walk, pray, listen to your favorite music with the volume turned all the way up, hit up your local ice cream shop for a sundae with extra chocolate syrup, or even take a candle-lit bubble bath. Trust me, you will feel so much better and you will be able to clear your head.
Once you do this, reminisce about your dating days. Think about your wedding day. Remind yourself of what you love about him, no matter if it is only 1 thing right now. That is a start.
Being a wife ain’t always cute but it is a lifelong partnership that is rewarding. After all, you need him there on those cold winter nights to warm your feet up under.
Hang in there girly!!! I got you.
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22 thoughts on “Being a Wife Ain’t Always Cute”
Amen. This is all so true. I appreciate your sharing, knowing I am not the only one who goes through and feels like I do. In the end I Love my husband. It’s 4 Life for us. No matter what.
I love you and Jerry! If I can stay married, I know you guys can. TRUST ME!!!
Great post… I always feel guilty for doing some of the things mentioned here because in my mind i think that i should be able to get over my upsets… But sometimes I don’t want to! Thanks for the tip about reminding myself about what I love about him!
Yes Rabiah…. Like Michael Jackson sang, you are not alone….We are all working on our marriages…It is a life long journey but we are capable of having great marriages.
Haha! Thanks for cracking me up. I always mention it in the blog whenever he works my last nerve! He gets over things in a minute while l like to steam for a bit, so l just tell him to leave me alone till l get over it. It sure ain’t easy like you say. :-).
Honey….say that! I believe in being transparent and in that, folks can receive your message. I’m glad it made you laugh.
Omg this was a funny but yet so true post! So glad you wrote this !
Kenya….we got to be truthful about this marriage thing. Too folks jumping in it and not staying past one year. This takes work.
The tap on the shoulder after a long hard day at home? YES MA’AM! My husband and I can usually laugh about it a couple of days later, but the shade is REAL when he’s all ready and I’m all petty. I do love my husband, and I always try to remember that first and foremost. What a beautifully honest and raw post to bring us back to the middle.
Ma’am….look! The wife struggle is real…I love my hubby with all my heart but I swear, he can drive me….I love that you could connect. Please share with your folks.
Ha! I’ve had my fair share of silent treatment and all of the things you mentioned. I love Babe to the moon and Babe but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to punch his face. Thankfully those moments are fleeting and Target and ice cream also help.
Girl…..I am hollering over here!!!! I love it! Slim this ain’t for the weak at heart. This big girl stuff right here.
Awesome post! Ha..so true! I love how you keep it real… I’m divorced but engaged now and I can definitely relate to all of these. I tend to stew for a moment long after as well, something I’m working on though. It’s all a work in progress and to stay true to your commitment. Thanks for sharing!
Honey, that is what I do….100% reall all the time. This post is for all women. People are in love with the wedding and never give thought to the actual marriage.
God has blessed our union for 46 years, and they have not all been pretty; however the good far outweigh the bad, and I would not trade him for a tall glass of sweet tea on a hot summer day! I enjoy your blog.
Amen!!! I love it…My parents have been married for 47 years.
Relationships are definitely work, especially at that stage in the game. Some people really don’t realize that it takes a lot of patience, communication, and understanding. I am not married, but I understand.
Chile I think I’ve been having one of those weekends with the hubby, and Siberia is looking good right now. But I think you are right, you have to not make a decision based on temporary feelings.
Great advice and insight to keep in mind for my future wife days. Lord knows my patience is going to need alot of help for those not so cute days of marriage. Lol
Yes!!!! Loads of gems dropped here! Thank you for sharing and being transparent.
Thank you for your transparency as always. I can definitely relate. While we were away we got into it because he could not understand why I was upset about us not having one single moment together while away.
Getting along in marriage has a lot to do with self-care. When we don’t take care of ourselves we become short, irritable, and impatient. Therefore, I believe that both parties have to get healthy in order to appreciate the other person’s presence and unique attributes.