During the month of October, The Real Wife Movementâ„¢ will be featuring stories from wives who have blended families. They will share what they did to ensure their families thrived beyond 10 years.
Be inspired by Shelly’s Story.
Blended family: a family consisting of a couple and their children from this and all previous relationships.
I was asked by my dear friend Tanya to write about my blended family of 26 years. I was glad to not only give my 2 cents, but any chance to talk about my family that I adore was awesome. There was only one problem, my husband and I never considered ourselves a blended family. Another dear friend told me to just tell my story as I see it.
I had a chunky little one-year-old when my husband and I met in 1990. I did not see my husband as a natural parent to my son initially, we had a few conversations about his “parenting styleâ€. What I realized was, he was interjecting his own military upbringing. I decided to pull back and let him parent his way. I did not want him to feel like a glorified babysitter once we decided to live together, and later marry.
My husband and son created their own bond when I had to work or any other time they spent together. A couple years later we started our own family. When the baby was born we made sure Ryan knew he was a big brother and that was an important job. One baby turned into 2, 3 and 4 more. The philosophy in our house was the same, the work “step†did not exist. There was no distinction, “your childâ€, “my childâ€, “our children togetherâ€. That was my husband’s rule from day one, “what’s yours is mineâ€.
A few times the younger kids said anything about Ryan not being my husband’s son, my husband would quip, “I’ve been Ryan’s dad longer than any of you jokers!†Point taken by the younger ones.
My husband was at every parent teacher conference, doctor appointment, football game and track meet. He paid for saxophones, summer camp, and college. He taught Ryan to drive, shave and tie his shoes.
Shelly, Nicolas, Ryan, Marc Jr., Donovan, Chenelle, Marc Sr.
Some say our family blended so cohesively because my son was so young. While that may be true to an extent, parenting as a unit is most important. Also, I retained my maiden name when I married, hyphenating my name so that Ryan would not feel different in that respect. Ryan is now 26, working on his PhD and loves his dad to pieces. Why? Because he was loved to pieces.
Shelly Brown-Rainey is the proud mom of 5 wonderful young adults, 4 of whom went to college. Her youngest is a Junior in high school. She and Marc have been married for 22 years.
Shelly is currently enrolled at Lynchburg General School of Nursing. She loves reading and vacationing with her husband.
Awww, sweet. Thank you for sharing. I imagine it must take a lot of work and heart to merge two families.
Yes! I think it’s important to share our stories to help other people know they can do it to.
Oh, what a great story. I loved reading it and like the part of no “step” in the household. They should be proud of themselves. A kid needs love, be it from a second parent or whatnot..they just want to be loved. 🙂
Amen! The fact that he is now working on his PhD is a testimony that love can breed great things!!
Love it!! Thank you for sharing your story!
It is definitely inspiring! Can’t wait to share your story.
Beautiful story! I am honored to personally know this family and I can truly say, every word written is true. They are one family united together in LOVE!!!
Thank you Andrea for sharing that! I think the world needs to see that there are great blended families. I love that Ryan flourished but he didn’t have a choice, he has great parents…..
I live every bit of this. As a person with my own blended family I find stories like these so encouraging. It most certainly is not easy but it is so doable and every one in the family is greater for it.
Kenya, this is so true. Family is about love and acceptance. Nothing else.
Such a wonderful story of the blended family! I have a blended family as well, and love and commitment to family is everything! Applause to the Rainey’s for being one of the blueprint families!!
I agree! My family is blended as well. I love the hope and encouragement that the Rainey’s give to all of us.
Thank you to all that have posted comments thus far! We must all stick together, blended families, nuclear families, single parent families, extended families. It takes a village……..
Shelly, your story inspires me so much and I am in awe of how far you have carried them. You push me to be a better wife and a better mom.
The feeling is mutual sis…
Hey Lady!!!! I loved your story!!! Thanks for sharing!!!
This is an awesome story. Thanks so much for reading it.
This is such a sweet story! I love hearing POSITIVE things about blended families! This will be very encouraging to many.
It is so encouraging to see families stay together intentionally.
I love love love this story!!! But more importantly I love the family that was created to make this story. Shelly has been a dear friend of mine and has been like a sister to me to the point where I call her my sister. Seeing her family interact is such a joy. My husband and I have learned a lot from them on how to manage issues. Thank you for asking her to share her story and having this awesome blog! Be blessed!!
Thanks Donise! I agree! She is an inspiration. I’ve known her since Kindergarten and to see how far she has come is amazing! I call her my sister too.
Such a sweet story! Contrary to what society might say, there are STILL some good black men and it looks like Shelly has a few of them! Great read, Shelly!
Thank you Tracy! Yes, she has amazing sons and an equally amazing husband.
Thank so much!!! 💜
What and awesome and heartfelt story. You have a beautiful family.
Thanks so much Mable. I appreciate you reading and enjoying this story.
This is a beautiful story. They are a lovely family.
Yes, they are. They are an inspiration to us all, blended family or not.
I love this story and this is exactly how it should be. Growing up, we used the terms step daughter and step father. I was never close with my dad or step father.
Oh WOW! I’m glad it touched you.
What an awesome story. I’m glad that she stepped aside and let her husband parent the way he was brought up. Going from a single parent doing everything alone, to sharing that responsibility, it is hard to let go and let someone else help you.
Great story. Loved it!
Absolutely!! stepping aside and trusting is difficult. My daughter was seven when I got married so it was an major adjustment for me that took years.
You share the best stories. I love this so much. Your family is beyond gorgeous and a testament to the love and care you all have provided.
Awwww, thanks sis! I want every post I share to illuminate love and hope.
Love this! My husband and my oldest have their own bond. He’s at every event, game, standardized test drop off… he barely leaves me with anything to do!
I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!! We need to celebrate these men!
I have known Shelly since 2009 and knew from the first day she mentioned any one of her family members, at the way her face lit up, that she was a fantastic parent. And she treats her friends and co-workers with the love and respect she evidently was taught by loving parents! And because she and Marc are loving parents, then this will pass on to their children, also. They are role models for our society!
I totally agree! She is an awesome example of a woman for me.
What a great story on a true blended family. My dad did the same with my sister…he always called her his daughter she was never a step-daughter and she knew my father before I did!
Ha***I love it! When you blend families I look at it like a recipe. All ingredients come together to create something delicious!
It is all about exercising love between all the entire family.
Thank you for such a great message.
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Amen! I’m glad this post touched your heart. Thank you for stopping by….
Amazing family. Amazing life story. Continue being an inspiration to your children and family/friends. God continue to bless.
Shelly is simply amazing! I’ve known her since we were 5yrs old. She inspires me to be a better mom! I’m glad you were inspired by her story.
Love your success story! It is beautiful how love really does conquer ALL! It’s SO important to spread the message of love and how in complicated family units there is hope! Thanks so very much for sharing!
Robin! You know what it takes and I love your family’s story too. We must celebrate those who are making a difference even if that is within our families.
Thanks so much Shelly for your kind words! Yes, we must celebrate I agree 100% Be blessed!