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Upon our return from Germany, I got wind of another book called Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. This not only helped me set boundaries with my husband, but it also helped me set them with friends and family.
I was always a person who suffered from low self-esteem, so I was the queen of People Pleaser Land. The downside to that was that I was constantly miserable and made my husband and children miserable, too. Boundaries was the book that helped me begin the process of getting my life back.
Another set of books that had a positive impact on my marriage was The Four Seasons of a Marriage Series by Gary Chapman and Catherine Palmer. Even though they are fictional accounts, I saw Don and I in every story in some kind of way. I cried several times while reading this four-book set. It made me think about my marriage and what I wanted it to look like. I never gave any thought as to how I wanted my marriage to be. And these books helped me literally step outside of myself to look at it from another vantage point. I’m so glad I found these books, and I still check them out from the library every few years just to get a refresher.
To be totally honest with you, the book that made the most impact these last two years of my marriage, is my very own book. I wrote my book, Being a Wife Just Got Real, Things I Wish I Knew Before I Said “I Do” because I did not want other women to experience the dysfunction my husband and I had.
It was not just a cathartic release for me; it was introspective. I wrote this book in a conversational way because I didn’t find any books like that when I was going through our rough patches. Throughout the entire writing process, I cried so many times and apologized to Don a million more times for all the pain I caused him. We both received so much healing during the writing process. I share our issues, our ways of managing them and how we overcame things such as alcoholism and an emotional affair.
What books have you read that had an impact on improving or even restoring your relationship or marriage?