Put the Cherry On Top of Your Intimacy, TODAY!

Put the Cherry On Top of Your Intimacy, TODAY!

Marriage needs intimacy! Think of it as watering a cherry garden. If you don’t water your garden, the cheeries become dry and shrivel up. Intimacy is the same.

When it’s robust and frequent, you feel closer to your husband. When it’s not, you feel stressed out and irritated. I understand, this may not apply to everyone but for most of the married women I’ve spoken to, this is their story.

Below are some tips for putting a cherry on top of your intimacy.

  1. Be Spontaneous – Men love to get it on any time and any where. Be open to this. If you have little ones, ask him to help you distract them and then go for it. This keeps it fun!
  2. Initiate – My husband loves when he receives a text in the middle of the day from me telling him I need a “tune-up” when he gets home. I have teenagers, so I have to get creative. I’ll have them do something outside the house like having my son cut the grass and asking my daughter to walk the dog. When my honey gets home, his mind is zeroed in on me, not his work day . Of course, I benefit for relaxing him after his hour commute.
  3. Change Location – Try the closet, tub or basement. This keeps it spicy and different. Men like to be excited! They are visual, so moving it from the bedroom is a real turn-on.
  4. Take a Bath Together – This may take some planning. I light candles, run a bubble bath and turn on the Jocedi Pandora station. Most of the time we just lay there and talk. We lock the bathroom door and if our kids knock on it, hubby yells that I’m in the bath and he’s talking to me. We get several “Ewwwwwww, that’s gross” but they leave and don’t come back. After the bath, head to the bed.

Girlfriend, I hope these ideas help you put the cherry on top of your intimacy and bring you closer to your husband.

What are some ways you add more to increase your intimacy?

Want ways to spice up your marriage, pick up a copy of my book, Being a Wife Just Got Real by clicking here.

What? Serve My Husband?

Photo credit Erik Cleves Kristensen

??A few weeks I was sitting at the airport waiting on the hubby’s flight to come in. Prior to leaving for his trip, he wanted to drive himself. I offered to drop him off and pick him up, however, he reluctantly took me up on my offer. He cited all the things I would have going on the day he returned and that he didn’t want to be one more thing on my list.

As I sat in the Kiss & Ride parking lot, I reflected on the last 17 years of marriage and what type of wife I had been. That conversation popped back in my head. What made my hubby say that to me? I sat there in my feelings for a while because he had spoken truth. I made serving him my last priority and most times didn’t follow through with my word because of tiredness or an overbooked schedule.

Hubby and I celebrated 17yrs in June

I know some sisters are thinking: “DID I READ THIS RIGHT? SERVE HIM? WHO ME?IS THIS CHICK SUGGESTING I SERVE A GROWN BEHIND MAN?” Yes, ma’am, I said, serve him. Dictionary.com defines serve as -�to render assistance; be of use; help. Don’t we do this on a daily basis on the job, in our social groups, at our places of worship and with the kids? Heck, you do this when you hold the door open for someone at the grocery store.

Genesis 2:18 says, “The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” WOW! God made me suitable for my husband. Wait a minute, you mean to tell me, I was made just for that man? Whoa!! I thought of plenty of times I told him I wasn’t his servant, his mother, his maid and the list goes on. Dang Tanya, you need to do better Boo! That was a very sobering moment for me.�

So sitting there in the parking lot I thought, “yeah, I could have been doing other things such as cooking, laundry, etc., but I wanted to now let him know how important he was to me.” When he got in the car, I apologized for making him last more often than I am comfortable to admit, but it’s the truth.

The beauty of this was that he immediately accepted my apology and we moved on.�The Word says, “Give and it shall be given unto you” and boy, did that pay off that night. Since the Kiss & Ride come to Jesus moment, I have been serving him more and it truly has strengthened our relationship.

Is serving your husband or do you see serving your future husband as a chore? Let’s talk about it.

What Was I Saying, “I Do” To?

Pronounced Man and Wife June 12, 1999

I was in my house the other day prepping for back to school, when I ran across a stack of our wedding day pictures. As I thumbed through each picture, I began to feel sad. I thought to myself, “I truly had no clue what I was saying ‘I do’ to.”

I actually found myself speaking to each picture as if the 1999 me could hear the 2016 me. I became so emotional, that I started to bawl in the middle of my living room floor, cradling my pictures with the love and care of a mother nursing her newborn.

After I got myself together, thoughts flooded my mind about how unprepared we are for marriage. Our vows vaguely came back and these few words I remembered, “for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part”.

WOW! Looking at those words 17 years later, I now see how heavy they are. Those vows carry so much weight but I feel, most people haven’t realized how serious they are nor are we prepared to live them fully and until death.

A Few Wedding Day Pictures

In those 17 years, Don and I experienced them all, except for death, thank God!

We stayed through rich (rich in love, peace, joy) times. We stayed through the numerous unemployed, food stamps, pre-foreclosure poor times. We stayed through (2) premature labors and our son being hospitalized countless times as a baby. We stayed through me kicking diabetes butt and embracing my hair loss together. We stayed through homeschooling, military transfers and sleeping on people’s floors with 3 kids.

As I think back, I realize that I said “I do” to things I had no idea would come our way. I’m thankful I didn’t quit. I’m thankful he didn’t leave. �I’m even more thankful we are in a place where I still say, “I do”.

I share Part I of our journey in my book, Being a Wife Just Got Real, Things I Wish I Knew Before I Said, “I Do”.

What are some things you and your husband had to overcome after saying, “I do”?

Taste Prince George’s Food and Wine Festival

image (9)I had the awesome opportunity to cover the Taste Prince George’s Food & Wine Festival last weekend at Hurricane Bay at Six Flags America in Upper Marlboro, Maryland. The vendors that were there had food to purchase and the musical artist were extremely talented. I took my husband with me since he loves to attend festivals.

Majic 102.3 was broadcasting from the park with their on air personality Michel Wright in attendance. They were giving away towels which were right on time because it was 97 degrees that day.

I had an opportunity to purchase food from a few of the vendors listed below and I have to be honest, the food was really good. I was expecting more free samples, however, no one had them except Wegmans, Shoppers, Effen Liquor Running Hare Vineyard and Calvert Brewing Company.image (12)

My husband loved the beer from the Calvert Brewing Company. I tasted the dark beer and it was too strong for my taste buds.

The Wine from Running Hare Vineyard had wines that were very flavorful and my husband has already decided we will be taking a trip to see them. They even have a GROUPON that you can use right now for tastings for 2 or 4. https://www.groupon.com/deals/running-hare-vineyard

Vendors that we visited and/or were in attendance:

Running Hare Vineyard � Tasting (Red and White Wine)

Wegmans � Tasting (Sushi)

Shoppers � Tasting (Cupcakes)

Effen Liquor – Tasting (Mini cocktails)

Calvert Brewing Company � Tasting and honey bought a $5 cup of Cream Ale (He liked it.)

Cakewich Craft Creator of the Ice Cream Cupcake � Bought a Red Velvet Ice Cream Cupcake

Chadale�s Caf� and Catering � Crab Fried Rice, Brussel Sprout, and Lemon Pepper Chicken Wings

Blake Brothers Barbecue

Pilar Fruit Carving

Smoke In The City

Mama�s Boiz

Infuse Restaurant

Famous Dave�s

Everlasting Life

Cori�s Modern Kitchen + Bar

The Taste Prince George�s Food & Wine Festival was different because it was in a waterpark. Since it was so hot, I wish I brought my bathing suit because I would have enjoyed the wave pool. From people Wobblin’ to the free wine, we enjoyed ourselves and I feel this would be a great event for couples to sip and munch and then hit the water.

When was the last time you went to a wine and food festival? How was it?

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5 Tips to Keep Running!

While on a 5 mile run, I was thinking of and praying for my friends who are training for upcoming marathons and I realized faith is like marathon training. In case you didn’t know, a marathon is 26.2 miles and takes about 5-6 months to train for.

Just like marathon training, faith takes dedication, motivation and a desire to see the end result. For a marathon, it’s the finish line and your cheering family you want to see, for faith it is to see your prayers answered. Below are a few tips to keep running in your faith.

  1. You need information. A training plan, nutrition, and proper running gear are all needed prior to training. I needed to tape my shins, buy the right sports bra, wear compression shorts/socks and carry a water-bag for my race. To run a marathon, you have to do what is necessary to finish the race. A Bible, a church that teaches you the Word of God in a way you can understand and apply and a prayer life are all necessary to grow your faith, so you can keep running.
  2. There will be times when you don’t want to run 4 days a week and days when you don’t feel like running those 10, 15, 20, 23 miles…there will be days you don’t feel like going to church, reading your Bible, praying. You can’t be successful in either if you don’t put in the time and the energy. It takes effort to train; it takes effort to trust and believe God, and to keep running.
My 1st marathon , Marine Corp Marathon, in 2012
My 1st marathon , Marine Corp Marathon, in 2012
  1. You have to kindly ignore those who don’t have your vision. As I trained for the Marine Corp Marathon, non-runners would say things like, “I could never do that” or “you are crazy”. It’s the same with faith. People who haven’t trusted God for anything or seen their prayers answered will say you are crazy or tell you their defeated truth. Speak your truth in love, love them from a distance and keep running.
  2. Skipping training runs and poor nutrition will produce injuries and slow down your progress. With faith, there are no shortcuts either. There is no skipping prayer. You can’t miss your time reading God’s Word. This will only slow down progress to what you are believing God for, so keep running.
  3. Quitting before you see results, will produce no results at all. I had a setback during the marathon at mile 22. I fainted after using the port-a-potty and was actually carried to the medic tent by two Marines(imagine what you see in the movies – yup, that was me). I was 4.2 miles away from the finish line.

I had a choice when I saw them opening up IV bags: receive the IV for immediate fluids but not finish the race or drink large quantities of Gatorade slowly and hobble/walk/crawl to the finish line. I chose the latter and finished 6 minutes before the race finished. I wanted that medal and I GOT MY MEDAL!!! We can’t quit on our faith, no matter what your situation looks like. a sick child, a husband who is tripping, or even low funds, you got this. You may be just at the point of your breakthrough and just need to keep running.

(*Sidenote – After coming out of the medic tent, I walked up on a guy who asked to use our phone. He called his wife to come pick him up; we were at the 24th mile. At first I thought he was joking until he walked away and into a Starbucks to wait for her. He quit with only 2 miles left.*)

2 Tim 4:7 says, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”

So today, don’t give up! Keep running for what you believe! It will happen if you don’t quit!